INT. TOPHERCHRIS’S APARTMENT
TOPHERCHRIS, lying face up in bed, laptop on chest, and LACEY, unpackaging a solid gold bong.
CUT TO: Topher’s laptop screen. A CURSOR hovers over the “Place Your Order” button on papajohns.com.
Topher smiles. The cursor moves to “Extra toppings” and checks every available topping.
CUT TO: Lacey placing the bong on a mantelpiece. A closeup shot of the bong. An inscription reads, “Papa’s in the house.”
(via: reddit)
So Matt’s bitch ass is over here complaining about how I don’t post anymore so here’s a glimpse into my life right now:
I’m having an allergic reaction of some sort to god knows what. Been happening since the middle of last week on both of my arms and my chest, and then saturday morning, as I was chilling on the sofa watching reruns of Happy Endings (pour one out), I felt the tip of my nose tingle and start to swell and this is what I look like now:
Of course, it’s like fucking impossible to nail down what causes allergic reactions because it could literally be ANYTHING. That is not even an exaggeration or hyperbole. So my doctor has me on a steroid and zyrtec to see if that’ll take care of the mess but like, MY NOSE. What the fuck am I supposed to do looking like a character in Puffs commercial/sunburn victim/Rudolph? We’ve already crossed the weather threshold for summertime avoidance of makeup at all costs here in DC - above 80 degrees is too hot for makeup in my fat ass sweat too much world. So I just gotta go out in public like this.
Good god. What if I were still single right now, trying to get dates looking like I had an infected discount 3rd world nose job?
Happy now Matt? Blog post over.
Needle in the hay
Needle in the hay
‘Nirvana, the Band’: A Web Show Written in the Edit Room | Splitsider
This is how I pitched “Nirvana the Band the Show” to Splitsider readers. NtB fans should read this for all the quotes from Matt, Jay, and Jared. Everyone else should watch all the embedded videos, and then watch the whole show.
(via nickdouglas)
I cannot recommend this read more. If you haven’t, watch the whole series immediately. If you don’t love Nirvana The Band, we are done, idiot.
(via nickdouglas)
me every day
34
| Ben: | cole |
|---|---|
| a black lady asked me outside how to get somewhere | |
| and i didnt know so i pull up my phone and look for it | |
| manhattan municipal building | |
| so while im showing her on my phone shes looking at it, and then says ok thanks and walks away | |
| then i look down and my thumb must have hit another location and it said african burial ground | |
| thats what she saw |
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