January 2008
“It’s exciting for me to be here but it’s also real sentimental,” Clinton told...”
– Wall Street Journal - Hilary Clinton using poor grammer to connect with blacks.
“… and your picture of Stalin riding a Year3 Limited Edition Starflower...”
– RobotMan - So I Guess I got Kicked off Another My Little Ponies Forum
amazing first page GIS results for "gabe" →
“As the media hype around Second Life grew, the Goons began to aim at bigger...”
– Wired - Mutilated Furries, Flying Phalluses: Put the Blame on Griefers, the Sociopaths of the Virtual World
“Why put all this bullshit between the action set-pieces? I mean, at the very...”
– Tim Rogers - Super Mario Galaxy Review
“I have to say that, you know, I would have to, you know, investigate more of...”
– Barack Obama on Bill Clinton’s perceived “blackness”
“The population grew desperate and then violent. Major cities were razed. Other...”
– America in Crisis: The Writers Strike Continues
“LeRoy Jenkins was a well-known and financially-successful faith healer during...”
– Wikipedia - Faith Healing
“He said he won’t hesitate to bring a set of $24.95 trailer testicles with...”
– Yahoo News - Watch what you put on trailer hitches
“All hail Ron Paul! Digg this post! Let’s elect the internet! Ron...”
– Gawker
“Bacon no. 8 is “North Country Cob Smoked Bacon,” and it’s a...”
– Achewood’s Chris Onstad on bacon, making me ashamed that I even own a keyboard, as usual
GameDaily visits AVN - Porn Stars desperately try...
GD: Do you mind if your boyfriend plays video games all night?
Summer: I don't have a boyfriend.
GD: [Blank face.]
Summer: [Smiles.]
GD: OK, so. If you could cuddle with a video game character, who would it be and why?
Summer: Probably one of the guys from Mortal Kombat.
GD: Which one?
Summer: I can't remember their names. But I loved that game.
GD: What about the one in the straw hat? Raiden? He shoots lightning.
Summer: Oooh. I like that.
GD: If you could cuddle with one video game character, who would it be and why?
Ashlynn: [Thinks for a moment] Ratchet and Clank.
GD: I said one video game character. That's two.
Ashlynn: But they go together. And I'd want them at the same time.
“Joining Sandbox as an idea-generator, or Sandbox All-Star, isn’t really a “job”...”
– Craigslist - Job Posting for Sandbox International
“Listening to the Democratic contenders, for example, is like listening to a...”
– Reason - Campaigning to Bust the Budget
“In all fairness, I’ve spent most of my $4000 on Chinese food.”
– Digg - Comment on ‘The Average American Owes Average Chinese $4,000’
“For example, during a show at the now defunct Odd Rock Cafe in Milwaukee,...”
– The Jesus Lizard - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
the first time i have ever seen an untruth in... →
“Yes, CCM is using a quote from H.L. Mencken to sell subscriptions. Leaving aside...”
– Huffington Post on CCM Magazine using “It is better to be free than not to be free” to advertise free magazines.
...with salad and breadsticks for all
Cole: In a story in today's New York Times Magazine , the reporter, Zev Chafets, offers to take Mike Huckabee for lunch to any restaurant in New York. Huckabee first requested T.G.I. Friday's. Chafats vetoed that, so they ended up at Huckabee's second choice, the Olive Garden.
Mark: That makes me want to vote for Huckabee even more
“…if you play Explosions in the Sky loud enough, the process of hanging...”
– Chuck Klosterman’s America
“To be honest, I watched the Republican debate mainly because Ron Paul was...”
– Something Awful Election Thoughts Valu-Pak
“half of the mail [my] agency handles is direct marketing mail, and reducing its...”
– Postal Service spokesman and Idiot Al DeSarro unknowingly demonstrates why loss of jobs is almost always a good thing for our economy, not to mention our enironment and aggregate quality of life
a match made in dorkwad heaven →
Megaman meets Settlers of Catan
“Best itialian food in South West London! Gets very busy so book early”
– British people on Olive Garden, I miss South Philly
Steve Albini is Awesome
Henry Owings: You’ve heard about the big Jerry Garcia prank in Chicago when he died, right? Someone set up like a “consolation hotline” after Garcia died, an ad, like “call and send your sympathy.” The number?
Pitchfork: Touch and Go?
Henry Owings: Warm.
Pitchfork: Albini.
Henry Owings: Ding! Yeah, he turned his phone off for about a week. He knows how to take a joke. That was the heyday of Chicago pranksterism— I think a dude in Urge Overkill might have been involved.
“In fact, I think that it’s actually the case that where Obama is...”
– Same Facts on Obama
“Overrated but
undeniable weirdo
arty Phil Collins”
– Again, Albini, this time on Scott Walker. After about fifty posts, he starts answering all questions in haiku before spammers take over.
“steve,
you may very well be saying ‘no comment’ by ignoring it in...”
– Steve Albini on 2+2 poker forums
“Humor can be found when numbers are oddly exact (such as the Car Talk standard...”
– Funny Numbers - Wikipedia
The Christmas Truce of 2007
His hands trembled as he gesticulated. With broken English he declared, “I Iraq”. His eyes widened as I replied, “I, America.” There we were, an American tourist and an Iraqi fast food vendor. And yet, despite the bloody conflict in which our home countries were embroiled, we were able to put our differences aside so that he could serve me. Suddenly we forgot why we were...
