April 2009
“According to his new biography, Wolverine has been, at various times, a Canadian...”
– Wolverine is ridiculous. - Slate
“AP gravely misquoted my staff”
– …aaand AKGovSarahPalin trips out of the gate.
In a perfect world, Shaq would show up to say, “U must mean ‘grossly’, btw.”
“Private eye C—- Stryker takes on more than he bargained for when a...”
– Brickie | The Case of the Missing Professor
It appears that a guy I work with jacked my name for his NaNoWriMo protagonist. I hadn’t met him when I found this.
Looks like I’m a hard-bitten detective who’s just tryin to get by in a world gone screwy. Not sure how to feel about...
Despicable Academic Hogwash
natashavc:
I actually wrote this sentence:
“[T.S.] Eliot also explores the entrapment caused by specifics and actualities, which obscure the ideal and authentic.”
This was not a case of bullshitting. Each one of these words carry specific literary currency and I got a phatty A on this paper. My writing is forever deformed because of academia. Abstract and flowery shit clutters every first...
Man killed by friend with sword →
Wow. I worked with this ninja at McDonalds for four years. He found deep satisfaction in calling me “Pole Stroker.”
“…the kind of film about the matrix that the matrix would have been able to...”
– Jean Baudrillard pissing on “The Matrix”
mollylambert:
gifparty:
In a rare moment of Tumblr Serendipity, I loaded this .gif at the very moment that I also loaded this.
“I was wearing Old Navy board shorts”
– The Saddest AZN alive
I submit that Carles’ greatest achievement is not his ability to dissect and lampoon current memes, but his ability to recall nuggets of pop cultural ephemera so deeply embedded in my psyche.
Peppering his prose with these embarrassingly dated signifiers communicates...
“Representative of Satan, and the most evil character in the novel, Cathy, who...”
– East of Eden
Maybe I’m being too hard on her, but this is what I immediately thought of when I read about the Hipster Grifter.
“There is a lot of different things that has twists to it.”
– Gawker - Levi Johnston’s Tyra Trainwreck
Pulitzer Prize
gabrieldelahaye:
Combs have been on the scene ever since humans had hair on his head. which is quite sometime? the date perhaps goes beyond the time of the old stone age. man being man and not a lion would not be content to let his mane run wild and free. so he had to find some ways to tame it. first on the list of combing operations must have been the use of fingers. so in a way the fingers...
click through
“I just returned from a trip that required driving straight south for thirteen...”
– Here is Where Someone You Don’t Know Died in His Civic
An effective way to convince fundamentalists that the legalization of gay marriage is a good thing is to appeal to their fear of big government.
Early Judaic and Christian marriage was a contract, or property exchange, between two individuals or families. Why should the government butt in and have anything to do with it? Why do I have to pay $40 for a marriage certificate?
In other words:
A...
"...we're just a bunch of Christians who happen to...
nervousacid:
The unembarrassing fact is that, technically, I think Switchfoot is an enjoyable band, but I’ve always been distracted by the haziness. They’re like a Christian take on the Morrissey formula in which he endlessly alludes to but never exposits the fact that he’s gay — as if he is getting one over on us, as if there is a serious Morrissey fan that exists who would deny his...
