I really wish The Awl would hurry up and start their food & cooking vertical (in my mind it’s called Mouthfeel) so that I can record my descent into insanity at the hands of the Food Network because laksfhlkhf CAN YOU IMAGINE??
There is much conflict and debate between the two types of looners with non-poppers arguing that the balloon is an entity unto itself and should be spared and the poppers maintaining that the balloon is a representation of the sexual build-up and release.
Definitely Pink Balloons get the worst abuse from me. Even though I don’t like pink and some of you may have heard my phrase, ” All Pink Balloons Must Die” .. well that does not mean that they don’t “do something” for me. Getting rough with them is sort of a turn on!
As for accidental bursts, I’ve had a few. The one that haunts me the most was when I was all reclined back on a 60” balloon that was very underinflated. It went ‘splody, and I just sorta layed there on my bed for a moment wondering what just happened… It didn’t feel good having such a comfy, squishy cushion of air suddenly disappear from beneath me. The scaps were also in an extremely weird shape, suggesting that much of the balloon wasn’t stretched out, thus the burst was probably caused by a defect. Still, I followed up that ride with a yellow 48” Everts that was just as squishy and awesome to try and take my mind off of it.
I always preferred going to Ross Park Mall because they had a Babbages, an EB Games and a Video Game Xchange, where I remember buying a used copy of Goldeneye with all my money from working at the paintball field.
Sitting in underwear at computer, unable to sleep. I realize I’m hungry. I lean down to the plate (don’t want to get typing fingers messy) from which I ate dinner hours ago and lick up a dried smear of brown mustard. Not wanting to take my eyes from the screen for even a millisecond, I slurp at the plate blindly.
A surprise. What’s this, a bit of leftover sandwich? It’s chewy. Perhaps an errant french fry?
No. Just the bloody bandaid I’d previously discarded on the plate so as to not have to get up and walk over to the trash can. Friday Night.
“all these years i thought jesse and joey were fighting over calling their radio show ‘teen talk’ or ‘yakkin with you.’ Turns out it’s ‘yakkin with YOUTH.’ Huh.”—a text from my sister, 2:23 PM, 11/12/10
“Seeking Transcribers for Book Project about 90’s Swing/Ska/Lounge/Roots music scenes. Already interviewed are such bands as Squirrel Nut Zippers, Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Combustible Edison, Royal Crown Revue, Big Sandy and more. This book is a comprehensive look at the 90’s roots music movement that re-appreciated music from the 1940’s-60’s and was visible in such movies as SWINGERS, THE MASK, SWING KIDS, BLAST FROM THE PAST, etc. and in national commercials like “Gap Swing”. This book seeks to peel away the layers of a celebratory time just prior to the rise of the internet and before 9/11 brought the curtain down on “the roaring 90’s.” Clinton was in the White House and the dot com boom was looming and the economy was strong - it was a time after grunge music when people wanted to have fun, drink martinis and dance all night. This book is being written without a publisher and there isn’t a lot of pay but you will get a credit in the book.”—