“How dare you publish such an unthoughtful article about Jack Nicholson. WHO cares if he has gained weight? After all that he has done for the public and himself, you find it appropriate to write such a disgusting article about him? From simply looking at your picture Mr. C—- Stryker, I could make a few judgments myself, but I WOULDN’T do that. This is why the media gets such a horrible name because of writers like you. I hope your parents do not read this article. Neither would be proud young man. Oh, and I am probably your age, if not younger. Have a wonderful day. You have certainly offended many, which I am sure is what you wanted to do. So sad….”—<3 <3 <3
In which I have fun with a scammer who's hacked my nerdy friend's Facebook account.
Me:is everything ok? four exclamation points sounds urgent
Kaitlin:not good. am in a deep mess
Me:how can i help?
Kaitlin:I'm stuck in London,UK at the moment
Me:do you need money?
Kaitlin:on a short vacation and i was mugged at a gun point
Me:can i just give you my credit card number? take whatever you need.
Kaitlin:well my return flight leaves in few hours and am having problem sorting the hotel bills. wondering if you can loan me some $$...I'll def refund it back as soon as i get back tomorrow all i need is $1,300...can you get that to me?
Me:first, i must prove your identity. can you tell me the name of the beast that luke skywalker rides on planet hoth?
Kaitlin:you kidding me?
Me:kaitlin would know
Kaitlin:you kidding me?
Me:here's an easier one: Fill in the blank, "Great shot kid, that was one in a _____!"
“Trying to be for Atlanta what Lou Reed or Brian Wilson are for NYC or California, this gothic rock band enlists Cee-Lo and Asher Roth on their debut LP.”—What does this mean, P4k? WHAT DOES THIS MEEEAAAAN?!
“nickdouglas: Christians don’t get things.
TJ: Yeah. Take me, for example. I don’t get how you can be so fucking stupid that you lump all Christians together with this person who is obviously a nitwit. Actually that’s not true. I get it. Bashing religious folks is trendy and few people will call bullshit on it. But Nick? This is fucking bullshit and you know it.”—
TJ, welcome to my blog. It contains snappy witticisms and intentional jokes, logical fallacies, and generalizations for the purpose of humor. I’m not “bashing Christians,” I’m making an arguably funny little caption for a story.
And, well, even my closest friend and roommate C—-, a devout Christian who went to my Christian college with me, though he hasn’t yet met the Christian mother and father who sent me to a Christian K-12 school which I for the most part liked, will readily admit that I’ve been “bashing Christians” since back when I was a Bible-thumping Baptist creationist who thought he could speak in tongues. By “bashing Christians” I mean “bashing stupid Christians,” the same way I bash stupid everyone, regardless of “trend.”