People Who Try To Have Banter With Non-English Speaking Waitstaff
Dude walks into a cafe and does one of those “I’m saying something condescending but I’m smiling at you so it’s like we’re sharing a joke together” moves.
"Is this how you fix stuff around here?" he said, pointing to a dubiously taped-up cash register.
The guy behind the counter stared blankly.
Then the guy orders a piece of pizza, but on the side he asks for just a bit of lettuce and tomato with some oil and vinegar. No, not a salad, JUST A BIT OF LETTUCE AND TOMATO THAT’S ALL DON’T GO TO ANY TROUBLE (i.e., don’t charge me for a full salad).
I thought about killing myself but then decided to just blog about it.
“One of my friend’s mothers brought him a plastic bag of socks and oranges on one of her visits to campus. My friends and I put the oranges in the socks. Then we flung the sock oranges onto the quad. My friend, the owner of the oranges and socks, confronted us for throwing them out on the quad. We explained to him that it was not our fault, but his mom’s fault, for putting oranges and socks in the same bag.”—
I was finally able to convince a good friend of mine to document his descent into paranoid schizophrenia on Tumblr. He has an incredible story that you should follow. He’s drawing some emotionally devastating parallels between his own madness and the progression of the War on Terror.
(I am the poor kid who had to pick up his orange juice-soaked socks all over the quad)
But then you thumb it into your Tumblr, and it’s gone, because instead of feeling it, you wiped it on everyone else. And that makes your life worthwhile, your ability to smear it on as many other people as possible.
“Sharon, Lois & Bram reunited on stage at the Toronto Jewish Film Festival on May 4, 2008 for a rare performance featuring all three singers and a viewing of their 2004 concert titled “25 Years of Skinnamarink”.”—