July 2011
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“Does this mean we’re gonna have to do double the work now? Heh heh.”
– Everyone in my friend’s office after they all got new dual monitor setups.
“Everyone in this family is a lunatic. The level of dysfunction is unreal. Its...”
– My sister went home for the weekend.
“In spring 1980, John Lennon, whose post-Beatles music career had been on hiatus...”
– Rock Lobster - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
lolwut? Also, love this wording:
“The song was used to score the love-making scene from the movie Knocked Up when the characters Ben and Alison mate and end up reproducing.”
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“She was such a happy little girl who loved sports and loved going to...”
– Matchup between Roethlisberger and Ashley Harlan declared ‘destiny’ - Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
Every paragraph in this story contains something that makes me want to hoooork.
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Epic Win The Book The Blog →
Been in stealth for a few days. This is the companion blog to my upcoming book, Epic Win. Equal parts /b/tard wankery and Anonymous news. Mostly just links and weird stuff I find on 4chan for now, more in-depth analysis soon.
Do you ever have a really powerful like….sharp pain in your butthole region like an air bubble passing from one intestine to the next that hurts so bad for a millisecond and sends you shooting upward, suspended by your hands on the arms of your chair and you think, “This is it for me. This is how I die”?
“She is the personal cheese consultant for American rappers Three 6 Mafia.”
– The Cheese Impresario - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
OK.
Tumblr: Where People You Like Hate on Other People...
I mean, come on.
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Breaking Bah
Friend: You should like, 'shop a pork pie hat onto Jesse Eisenberg and then write "Jesse Heisenberg" over it.
Me: Nope.
“When we played Bonnaroo, we had this little backstage area. We’re changing out...”
– Q&A: They Might Be Giants Aren’t Just for Kids and Still Aren’t the Proclaimers | VF Daily | Vanity Fair
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Watchthedailywhat:
Match Made In Icky Heaven of the Day: 51-year-old Lost actor Doug Hutchison and 16-year-old “recording artist” Courtney Stodden grant Good Morning America their first interview as husband and wife.
Friendly reminder: Homosexual couples are banned in most states from marrying the person they love because allowing them to do so would destroy the sanctity of the institution.
...
“I ought to brush my teeth before this video conference. What if they can somehow...”
– My stupid brain
Nick: i hate telling the hairdresser what to do
me: same same same
Nick: once i asked a barber to "experiment"
Nick: he was like "um, no"
This is my dad. His name is Cliff. →
Dads.
“Subject: Céline Dion vs. Yourself”
interweber:
ridiculouspicturesofcelinedion:
hey y’all
céline dion found our blog, and she didn’t like it. we just got a letter from céline’s lawyers that the blog has to be shut down.
though this blog is well within the realm of ‘fair use’, i don’t have the money or time to get a lawyer to respond. the dream is over.
thanks for following and being a céline superfan i’ll always remember u ...
“And this is how I ended up wearing nothing but a tshirt and shorts and a pair of...”
– Q. Chris Kirkpatrick fanfiction?
A. Chris Kirkpatrick fanfiction.
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“Fox studio executive Dylan Sellers felt the script could be improved by comedy....”
– Planet of the Apes (2001 film) - Wikipedia
The production history of this remake is the sort of decade-long catastrophe the authors of screenwriting guidebooks warn you about in their introductions so you immediately give up hope that anything you’ve written will ever make it to the screen as...
My sister: This house next door is section 8 and there's always a thousand hispanic kids over there and this little boy sammy just blew on a dandelion fuzz to wish for a gun so he could kill all the cops.
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Epic Bros
I am amazed at how Google+’s Circles inspire people whom I’ve never met or even emailed to add me. At first I was like, “GTFO,” but then I realized that a lot of them were actually cool people doing cool things, not creepers or social media consultants (jk lol). And now I want to meet IRL.
With tiered contacts, it becomes less silly/clunky/creepy to include some bro who...
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You know those subway performers that breakdance and flip around on moving trains? They always say, “If your man can’t do this, LEAVE ‘IM.”
The other day I was writing what I thought was a particularly witty post and actually said that out loud. To myself.
Cool life.
