One hundred years ago, we weren’t drinking sugar water by the gallon. We did not evolve to consume this crap. We drink it now because we developed our ability to sell ourselves crap faster than our ability to protect ourselves from that crap.

It’s time someone put a brake to it. These things start in NYC and spread. Like the smoking ban - remember how the haters said “we’re so uncivilized, compared to Europe”? Now there’s a smoking ban in Ireland and Italy. 

I will be laughing the loudest when Peter Feld’s smartphone dings to tell him he’s not allowed to order cheese fries with his space-burger at Shake Shack 3000 because government mandated healthcare necessitates insultingly intrusive regulations, eventually based on data mined from his social network behavior, that aim to keep people healthy.

"Haha," I will say while patting him on the back, "The United States of Facebookmerica Corp. knows you have high blood pressure because you were goofing off on WebMD last night. Chill, they have your best interests in mind. Here, have a celery stick instead. You’re one away from unlocking the Healthy Citizen badge." 

  • 31 May 2012
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